Remembering a Bumpy Stretch on Memory Lane

I was recently cleaning out some files and came across a journal entry from eleven years ago that made me happy. It was such a fun memory and I'm so glad I wrote it all down the day it happened. I read it aloud to all of my kids and we laughed and laughed.

On that day, I had five children aged 10 and younger. That was such a physically demanding time! For all you mothers of young children, and especially if you have a house and heart full, enjoy every crazy, awesome, exhausting second of it! I've also been going through a lot of old photographs and darn it if I didn't have the cutest, most muggable kids on the planet. I'd happily relive this and all those days again and again and just hug and kiss and squeeze and love the heck out of those darlings all over.

Here is my journal entry.  I have abbreviated names, because I don't like to share too much personal info.

June 22, 2005

Note:  Nothing has been changed to protect anyone. The names and events are, sadly, all true.

           Please do not attempt to try this yourselves.  We are professionals.

It began as a simple but desperate trip to the store for diapers. P5's little bum was of necessity wearing a P4-big-bum diaper. Now I've been spoiled in the last few years by getting to go to the store by myself, or occasionally with one or two of the kids. But for this trip I had to take them all with me because (hubby) was out of town.

We had to get two carts. P3 had lost his shoes in the long grass's Twilight Zone and therefore needed to ride. That left little room for groceries.  I know, I said I just needed diapers.  But since I was already there...

It looked promising at first.  P1 and P2 were being very helpful, each pushing a cart.  Everyone was smiling and happy to get out of the house.  An older couple needed some assistance and so P2 ran to fetch them a shopping cart and P1 chased down a runaway cantaloupe that the lady in the wheelchair accidentally dropped.  That cantaloupe should have been our cue to get the heck out of Dodge.

We stopped at the bakery department for free cookies, only to be disappointed by the absence of anyone there to assist us.  As we moved on throughout the store, P4 wanted very much to get out of the cart and run.  I tried to keep him preoccupied with other thoughts as he screamed and then growled like a mad dog.  P2 skipped and jigged and slid around, every now and then stopping to pose against a shelf in a suave GQ position.  In his performance frame of mind, he forgot to pay attention to where he was going and hooked his nose on a wire rack.

We remembered that it was our turn next to provide after game snacks at baseball, and P1 and P2 began dashing about the store looking for something really good, no matter what it cost.  They went back and forth like madmen with their carts, nearly running into other customers (of course, they DID run into me) and nearly taking out displays.  Then they lost interest in the carts and abandoned them altogether, leaving their siblings in random aisles. This didn't help the situation with P4 wanting to go AWOL.  It did encourage P3 to get out and push...right into the frozen food freezer doors.

With both carts completely full, P4 just couldn't stand it anymore.  He began trying to throw merchandise out of the cart to plead his case.  P5 had had it as well, and began charming everyone with her off-the-chart high octave screams.  And then, we ran into the toy aisles.

It was of course mutiny at this point.  Barefoot P3 was oblivious to anything I had to say and did a stunt man jump out of the cart.  P5 HAD to be held.  P4 was so determined to get out of the cart that I had to choose between helping him out and letting him look for  a minute, or cleaning his teeth and fractured skull off the floor.  They all calmed down somewhat as they looked up and down the aisles, talking together and showing each other their finds.  And then, the three not in diapers had a massive attack of the "gotta go's" and proceeded to do the potty dance all over the place.  I sent them together to the restroom (remember, I still had two full grocery carts and two toddlers).  Jolly lot of good it did.  They came running back like a herd of buffalo, shouting, "We can't find the bathroom!"

FINALLY we headed for the checkout.  P5 was back in the cart.  I was holding P4.  Then the three oldest had to take a test swing on some patio furniture.  Not to be left out, P4 had to swing, too.  I made the mistake of putting him down.  And then he bolted.  Have you ever tried to find a two-foot tall kid who doesn't want to be found in the clothing racks?  When I finally did spot him, he took off, giggling hysterically.  I had to sprint my very sore joints (another long story) and nearly did a face plant.

Checkout!  Please get us out of here!  We somehow made it through and out the door.  And then...the unspeakable.  The unthinkable.  I was holding P5 and P4 and trying to keep P3 from darting into the parking lot.  P2 was pushing the VERY full and VERY heavy shopping cart.  I turned to check on him.  I saw the impending disaster before it happened, but couldn't get the words out in time to stop it.  THE WHOLE CART TIPPED OVER, almost on top of P2, and he did a Starsky and Hutch roll away, grabbing on to his ankle.

In his defense, this parking lot wasn't handicap accessible.

I'm still in shock.  I think once I get to bed tonight, I'm not going to get out again until (hubby) comes home.  Normally it's not like this... I don't know what's going on.  I couldn't deal with being the only one who knew, so I called (hubby) in Maryland and woke him up.  I hope he gets back to sleep...

After our "adventures" in town this evening, we got home, I fed the kids and got them in bed.  To unwind from it all, I put in a movie for myself... a comedy.  When it was over, I remembered that I needed to pull the car in the garage and lock up.  Can you guess what happened next?  I ran the van into the garage wall.  Yes, I really did.  Pulled into the garage at the wrong angle.  At this point I can't tell all the damage to the house.  The car looks AWFUL.

Good night.

P.S.  For clarification, I scraped the driver's side of the van along the trim of the garage entrance.

LOVE YOUR LITTLES!

And keep in mind that the so-called "bumps" on the road help you know you're alive.