No Crying in Baseball - Lessons in Losing

I ran away today.*  It wasn't permanent, but I knew I had to get out by myself and run hard and cry hard.  And did I ever.  It's a good thing there are roads to run among fields of corn and alfalfa because I cried so hard and loud I could hear the audibles of my sobbing over the music in my earphones.

This past week was an intense emotional roller coaster that brought out all the life lessons of baseball and why we love (and sometimes hate) the game. Our Region Champion high school team was on a 3-game state playoff winning streak, having not just beaten but completely shut out the tournament favorite, dumping them into the losers bracket.  Then, in the game that was supposed to clinch our spot in the championship game, we got down 3-0, but started a comeback in the bottom of the 7th, scoring 2 runs with no outs and 2 guys on at first and second.  One of our guys hit into a miserable double play (why, oh why didn't he bunt?!?!) and the next guy after him got out, to kill the streak. We had to immediately play the tournament favorite again for the other spot in the championship and, long story short, they shellacked us.  We went from the highest of highs to lowest of lows.  

While I don't recommend watching it, there are two great quotes from the film "A League of Their Own," a fictionalized account of the real All American Girls Professional Baseball League created during WWII, that hit home this week:

"There's no crying in baseball."

"It's supposed to be hard.  If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it.  The hard is what makes it great." 

I know a lot of tough guys who play baseball.  They don't cry when they jam a finger diving back to a base.  They don't cry when they literally take all the hide off a leg sliding in the dirt, only to do it again and again with no time to let it heal.  They don't cry when they get cleated. They don't cry when they dislocate a shoulder diving for a catch.  They don't cry when they get hit in the spine (or shoulder, or hip) with an inside fastball.  They don't cry when they've thrown more pitches than an arm can physically launch and ice and ibuprofen can't touch the pain.  The only time they get upset is if you tell them they have to sit it out because of conditions such as these. 

  

So, there IS crying in baseball.  Anyone who says tough guys don't cry has never watched a bunch of smart, skilled, athletic, tough guys who've grown up together playing their guts out lose the semi-final game of the state tournament their senior year of high school, knowing at that moment that it's the last time they'll be on the field.  Was it hard?  There was nothing about that that wasn't hard.  It was hard to get to where they were and it was harder still to walk away. To me, they were tougher FOR the crying.  

Apparently there is also crying in laundry, because as I washed my son's jersey and hung it to dry for the last time, I did so with a grateful, reverent, and broken heart.  I know what it took him to get that jersey, what it took him to keep it year after year, how proudly he wore it, and how much he gave of himself in the dirtying of it.  For all the nights I was up at 2 a.m. scrubbing clay out of his uniform so it would be white again for a game in 12 hours, I'd happily do it for forever just to see him keep playing.  But, life moves on.  And that's one of the lessons of baseball.

Every game is a new one.  Anything can happen and that's one of the wonders of baseball.  On any given day, any given team can win--or lose.  And one win or loss, or ten wins or losses, does not dictate whether you'll win or lose the next new game.  If you were the mess up in the last game, you could be the hero the next.  You learn that there are some things you can't control, like a blind, or ignorant, or simply human umpire, or a bad bounce of the ball, or a hit in a hole.  You learn there are some things you can control, like your hustle, your effort, your will, your focus and attitude.  But each and every game you start over with a chance to do it right.

Every day of life is a new one.  Anything can happen and that's one of the wonders of life.  On any given day, you can conquer whatever besets you, or you can let it get you down.  But one bad day, or ten bad days, doesn't dictate whether tomorrow will be a bad day.  There will always be some things you can't control and some things you can, but each and every day you get to start over with a chance to get it right.

We learn far more from our losses, or failures, than we do from our wins or successes.  If we always succeed, we never wonder why and we never have a need to improve. But failure shouldn't define us or keep us down.  It should just teach us what to do when we get back up.

I love the literary character Pollyanna.  I shared Disney's film version with my family a few weeks ago and their favorite part to giggle at is when the minister stands at his podium and yells, "Death comes unexpectedly!"  In the movie, it's dramatic and unexpected and far different from the kinds of sermons they're used to.  But the minister has a point.  Death does come unexpectedly, whether it's a physical death, or the death of a dream, like being state champions.  But even in extreme heartbreak, there was something to be glad about, as Pollyanna would say, because we're all immensely grateful for the experience, wins and losses and all.

*I began writing this on May 23, 2014, the morning after we were eliminated from the state tournament, having placed 3rd.

Quotable Day

Our activities today have, quite accidentally, made me think of several familiar quotes from past readings.

We spent most of the day working in the yard, everyone contributing with different tasks based on age, ability, and aptitude.  I asked one of my boys to create something to put over the strawberries so that they could grow unhindered but so birds cannot get to them.  As some of the children were doing more manual-type labor in the sunshine and heat, this son spent quite a bit of time sitting in the shade.  It may have seemed unfair, and like he wasn't really working, but in fact he had been measuring and thinking and designing and gathering materials and creating scale drawings of what he wanted to build.  He was working, just in a different way.  It reminded me of what Ralph's father told him in Little Britches by Ralph Moody:

"There are only two kinds of men in this world:  Honest men and dishonest men.  There are black men and white men and yellow men and red men, but nothing counts except whether they're honest men or dishonest men.

"Some men work almost entirely with their brains; some almost entirely with their hands; though most of us have to use both.  But we all fall into one of the two classes--honest and dishonest.

"Any man who says the world owes him a living is dishonest.  The same God that made you and me made this earth.  And he planned it so that it would yield every single thing that the people on it need.  But He was careful to plan it so that it would only yield up its wealth in exchange for the labor of man.  Any man who tries to share in that wealth without contributing the work of his brain or his hands is dishonest."

I love, love, love this lesson from Ralph's father!  (Actually, if you really study it, it's at least THREE lessons in one.)

I'm sorry to say that after an entire day's work of planning, etc., my son's original design did not work out.  He had a great idea, but the materials available weren't quite what he needed. (He actually spent quite a bit of time hammering metal and trying to reshape it to get it to work, but it wasn't thick enough so it started to crack.) He was frustrated, but I felt the exercise of it, and even the "failure," were both valuable.  My husband came outside about 5:00 p.m. and  together they rigged up something a little simpler.

I asked him tonight if he learned anything today.  He said, "Yeah, don't use crappy parts."  Meaning, he learned that quality materials make a difference.  Not a bad lesson.  I think his father also showed him that you CAN use what you have, you just need to modify your plans.

While I was watering a newly planted flower bed, a butterfly ((or maybe a moth) joined me.  I don't know what it is about butterflies, but they make me feel so happy.  I'm so glad God created them!  The encounter reminded me of these two similar wise quotes by two famous authors.

"Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it the more it will elude you.  But if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder." - Henry David Thoreau

"Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you." - Nathaniel Hawthorne

Finally, after a long, hot day of work, a little play was in order.  The kids asked if they could run through the sprinkler and I said yes.  I next found them, on the one day this week that no one had an evening baseball game, playing baseball together in the sprinkler!  

I'm so thankful that each of my children loves this game because it bonds them together at any and all points in time regardless of their age and other differences.  I was once told I had bred my boys for baseball and I was quite offended.  I've done nothing but allow and encourage them to pursue excellence in their talents and interests, whatever they be.  They just happen to all love the game.  They each play it differently, and have a different skill set and specialty, but they all love it.  In fact, I cannot get them to stop playing baseball, today's example being just one in a long list of free time baseball creativities.  And in fact, it reminded me of this, from Plato:

"You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation."

I'm thankful for work.  It gives purpose.  I know children are happier when they have learned to work and to appreciate the value of work done well.  I'm thankful for literature and the time to work with my brain so that when I need to work with my hands my mind has something to reflect on.  (And the same for my kids.)  I have such clarity of thought when I'm working!  I love it when we experience things together as a family and one of the children makes an association with something we've read.  I'm so thankful for homeschooling, which gives us so much to reference together in both our reading and our experiences.  And I'm thankful for bases of wet t-shirts and home plates behind a sprinkler, where an 18 year old, a 9 year old, and everyone in between enjoy playing at home together.

Parenting Tip #1 - Knowing Better

Don't Let Your Children Whine Themselves Out of Joy!

"It's too hot."

"I'm hungry."

"I'm not wearing the right shoes."

"It's too far."

"It's too steep."

"It's too rocky."

"I don't want to."

Such were the grumpy, whiny words I heard from P2 and (mostly) P5 today as our family climbed a mountain to reach a waterfall today.  We'd just spent hours in the sun watching P4 and his baseball team duke it out in intensely close quarter-final and semi-final games in a Memorial Day tournament (after getting up at 5:00 a.m. and driving two hours to get there) and everyone was hot and tired and hungry.  But I knew that we needed this.  I knew that when we reached the top the reward would be worth the effort, both for each of us individually and also for our family as a whole.  It would have been easy to let the whining win, to just stay at the bottom of the mountain and take what enjoyment we could from the trickle of water down there and call it good.  But I knew better.

When we reached our destination, we found such joy!  There was satisfaction and empowerment from reaching the top.  There was physical relief from the cool water on such a hot day. There was a delight of the senses in what we could see and hear and feel.  There was a bonding of family members in sharing an adventure together.  It was wonderful!  And the kids were all of a sudden full of energy, climbing higher voluntarily and shouting and laughing in happiness.

It reminded me of how things sometimes go between people and our Heavenly Father.  He has a path for us to take and we come up with all sorts of excuses not to and, yes, we even whine sometimes.  But He knows better.  He knows what's at the end of that path and the joy that's awaiting us, even if the climb doesn't appeal to us.  If only we'd just trust Him more!

As a parent, I continue to try to understand that fine line between respecting my child's agency and knowingly pushing a whiner because I can see something he doesn't or can't that will benefit him.  It might be memorizing the multiplication table, or doing algebra, or finishing that last elusive BSA merit badge to achieve the rank of Eagle.  I have a stewardship as a parent; some things are common sense and some things come by revelation, but as a mother it's my responsibility (and my pleasure) to know my children as personally as I can so that I can help guide them on the path that will bring them happiness.  The parent-child relationship is an eternal pattern and principle.

JOY!

Peanuts Post Preview

It's been a really long week.  We've been driving back and forth to ball fields that are 2 hours away almost every day.  First it was for the state high school tournament, then one of my younger boys has been playing in a Memorial Day tournament.  It's been exhausting and emotional.  I'm in the middle of writing a post about lessons learned from it, but I'm also in the middle of creating a video slideshow with the thousands of photos I took for the high school baseball banquet and showtime is looming.  So since I can't finish and post that bit just yet, I'm going to share some comics that hint at what's to come and also give a little chuckle to help soothe heavy hearts and put things in perspective.

I love Peanuts.  Schultz gets baseball.

The Read-a-thon

It's coming on summer and though that means different things for different people, including homeschoolers who may be schooling through the summer, many parents like to incorporate some kind of reading program for their children during the summer months.  Public libraries usually have a Summer Reading Program with incentives and rewards and my family has enjoyed taking advantage of those over the years.  However, as my children have gotten older our summers have gotten busier and so we haven't been able to benefit as much from the library in the most recent summers.

Today I'm sharing an idea I came up with years ago for year round reading incentive.  You can adapt this for your own family's summer reading, or you can tuck the idea away for next school year.

The Read-a-thon

By Sasha Takis

Originally published in The Sentinel July 3, 2013

Whether your readers are ravenous or reluctant, an occasional read-a-thon is a great tool.  Read-a-thons can bridge the gap between summer vacation and the beginning of autumn’s new schedule; they can buy an overwhelmed mom some time during a particularly busy stretch of time; they can constructively get a family through illness; they can be used effectively in a unit study or as a way to “break” in between unit studies while Mom regroups.  A read-a-thon can motivate all types of readers with varying levels of dedication to step up and read more, even if only for the duration of the contest.

There are many ways to run a read-a-thon and to adapt one for your family’s needs.  I’ll describe one of ours from a couple of years ago, when my youngest was still little and just beginning reading so as to cover more of an age range.

I announced the read-a-thon first thing the Tuesday after Labor Day.  We had kicked off our new school year the week before, which had the theme “Everyone Has a Story,” with a field trip to the fabulous Treehouse Museum in Ogden, Utah, and with learning about types and genres of books.  The children had from Tuesday morning until the midnight between the following Sunday/Monday to log their reading.  Then, other than regular chores and a daily math assignment, nothing was expected of them from me during that week, leaving them free to read (and me free to finish preparing for our upcoming studies and schedule).

I had some children who didn’t want to put in much effort because they assumed they’d lose no matter what to their always-reading-and-maniacal-about-books brother.  I told them that they’d be surprised how it all worked out in the end and that no effort would be a waste.  On Monday morning I awarded the prizes.  I had a big bowl of favorite candy treats.  For every different genre a child read, he got to choose a treat.  For every book he read in its entirety, he chose a treat.  For every full 5 hours of reading time logged, he got a dollar bill.  If a child logged scripture reading, I doubled the value of the time.  For reading over 200 pages, the child got a treat.  And the child who read the most overall, taking all the numbers of pages, books, and time into account, got a $5 gift card to a book store. 

It is important to reward EVERYTHING in a read-a-thon, and here is why.  When your children range in age and reading ability, it’s not quite fair otherwise.

My youngest child was reading beginning readers.  There was no way she could have matched page for page, or time, because she read little books to me and then she was “done.”  She needed to be rewarded for the number of books she read, but if that were the only way to be rewarded, it would have been a rip for a kid tackling just one 500-page book.

My oldest child was very involved in many outside activities and didn’t have the same amount of time to devote to reading.  ANY reading he could get in needed to be noticed.  If it weren’t for the genre category, he’d have earned nothing.

My smack middle child is a crazy fast reader, devouring 500-page books in a single day.  He would have easily won all categories if I hadn’t done something to level the playing field.

My other two children fit into their own niches.  The variety of ways to earn rewards kept everyone trying hard and motivated.  Once they saw how it worked, they began to strategize for the next read-a-thon.

As I mentioned earlier, you can make several read-a-thon adaptations.  If you’re worried about academics, a read-a-thon can play into your current studies.  You could have an “Ancient History Read-a-thon” and/or narrow it to a subject, breaking the genre category into things such as reference, non-fiction picture book, historical fiction, magazine (e.g. National Geographic, Kids Discover) etc.  If you can’t/won’t spare a whole week, you can make your read-a-thon last just one or two days, and let everyone wear pajamas and make comfy reading places anywhere in the house they’d like, with popcorn or other favorite snacks readily available. You can even enjoy the great outdoors while participating in a read-a-thon by reading outside in hammocks, on hillsides, under umbrellas, and on trampolines.  However they work best for you, your children will love having a few read-a-thons in their year.

Being Present - Look Up

The spoken word film "Look Up" by Gary Turk is quite possibly one of the most brilliant thing written--especially for the present generation.  Published for the world only three weeks ago, this video has had nearly 40 million views already and been shared many, many times.  It's interesting that it's delivery and fame comes through the very technology it warns of, but how else to get the message to those who need it?  I hope everyone is really letting it sink in and making concerted effort at reform.

You may be asking what this has to do with homeschooling and why on earth I'd share it here.  For one, I have resisted social media and refused to blog for the very reasons this video so poignantly displays.  I'm also really tired of telling my older teens to stop texting and pay attention to where they are and what they're doing.  (We only have the most basic phones--archaic, according to most--but they still have texting... barely.)  I showed this to my family today in hopes that it would mean a little more than my broken record griping.

I am sad and anxious for my children's generation.  Fewer and fewer of them actually know how to behave in general and/or interact in real, live relationships.  This is both a result of living in an over-teched world and a result of having parents who are less and less present themselves.  Those adults who want to connect with teens use their technology and methods of communication to do so.  It's necessary, I suppose, but as we found that baseball coaches will only communicate via text, it forced us to get phones for kids before we wanted to and it contributed to the feeling that the Borg from Star Trek is taking over and "resistance is futile."  I'd just like to see less of screens and more of living things and for people to remember they're people--living things--not robots.

So for all the time spent in education on cool and cold technology, I hope we'll be wise enough to spend just as much time, if not more, learning how to be real, alive, feeling, present, and warm human beings.  And if we could express ourselves as astutely and poetically as Gary, that would help too.

Becoming

Tonight was Seminary Graduation for my oldest child.  <Sigh.>  I have so many thoughts running through my head (many incomplete because I am both overwhelmed at the amount of stimuli and also emotionally tentative in wanting to see them through) that I don't know if anything I write here will be much more than rambling.  I remember this time of my life still very vividly and cannot believe it was as many years ago as it was and, except for the fact that it's very true and real, I cannot believe my firstborn is old enough to be "here."

My son spoke tonight, one of just two graduates of the 72 in our stake to be asked to do so, as a representative of our stake to Seminary Council.  He did a terrific job and it was one of those snippets in time when I was reassured that he's more mature than I sometimes think (or fear) and that no matter how much I may want to turn back the clock, he's ready and the time is right.  And, I like who he's become.

As we receive high school graduation announcements from friends and continue to experience many "lasts," I am forced to mull the educational choices we've made and to revisit what I believe.  I've never been one to be bothered by walking upstream or to be afraid of being different; in fact I kind of thrive on it.  At this point in time, however, I can't help but ponder just how different our choices have been.  When I see so many people I love and respect doing all the same things and going through all the same motions, I just... wonder.

I hate the system.  I hate the box.*  I hate the philosophies of men and the subsequent pervasive structures and organizations that turn into expectations and regulations.  I stiffen at hoops to jump through and forms to fill out. I'm finding that I value less and less documented achievement in the form of diplomas and degrees.  Yet I live in a world that emphasizes and embraces all of these things, and so many of my fellow mortal sojourners don't even hesitate to get in line. Again... I wonder.

But tonight, at Seminary Graduation, I heard some statements that really pinpoint the heart of what I believe and where I'm coming from, why I do what I do and choose what I choose.

First, my son shared this quote from Elder Neal A. Maxwell:

"As we look about us we perceive that unfortunately some Church members are in the 'broad' way; most are scattered all along the straight and narrow path.  The enlightened are moving forward steadily toward becoming men and women of Christ.  Others are moving, but only irregularly.  Some are dawdling.  Still others are milling round the exits and entrances.  A few have turned back or been turned aside."

He then talked about how now that he and his classmates will no longer have Seminary teachers and parents to daily nudge them toward prayer and scripture study and church attendance, it is up to each of them to choose these things for themselves.  They can leave these things behind them, or they can choose to keep them as part of their lives and to consciously endeavor to become men and women of Christ.

Then one of the Seminary teachers, as he presented the graduates, shared the following thoughts.

"We live in a world with an overabundance of information.  Wisdom gets lost in knowledge and knowledge gets lost in information.  We need to turn that around.  Information should turn into knowledge and knowledge should turn into wisdom."

 "The world wants you to know something; the Gospel of Jesus Christ wants you to become something."

It reminded me of 2 Nephi 9:28-29:

"O that cunning plan of the evil one!  O the vainness, and the frailties, and the foolishness of men!  When they are learned they think they are wise, and they hearken not unto the counsel of God, for they set it aside, supposing they know of themselves, wherefore, their wisdom is foolishness and it profiteth them not.  And they shall perish.  

 But to be learned is good if they hearken unto the counsels of God." 

Twenty some years ago when I was where my son is now, I was frustrated with what I did and did not know and at how little, I realized, my high school diploma meant.  Even as an A student, I felt that all it said was that I finished something someone said I had to do.  I suppose that it isn't fair to say it meant nothing, nor would it be correct to say that I hadn't been "becoming" in any way through my public schooling as all experiences join to mold us into whatever we are.  Certainly my graduation epiphany was the catalyst for me to want something different and to make deliberate choices that shaped who I've become so far and what my children are becoming.  I realized then what I believe now:   Not all information is of the same importance.  Likewise, not all knowledge has the same value.  It's not the certificates of achievement that matter--it's who you become.

*"The box" is the standardized, compartmentalized, one-size-fits-all approach to compulsory education.

 

War Games in Math

This is not what you think... this is math!  Today my daughter was bored as we waited for her brothers' baseball game to get started.  Luckily I happened to have a deck of cards with me and so we worked on math facts  played several rousing rounds of War variations to happily pass the time.

War.  You know, the old game where each player flips a card and whoever has the card with the highest number value wins the hand.  This is a great game for teaching young ones numbers and higher and lower values.  But you can also put several twists on this game to help children practice basic functions and/or memorize math facts.  My daughter was having so much fun she didn't even think of it as math.

A big thanks to Joslyn Postma for sharing all these War variations at an LDSHE Enrichment Seminar last year in Virginia:

Addition War - Players turn up two cards for each skirmish.  The highest sum wins.

Advanced Addition War - Turn up three (or four) cards for each skirmish and add them together.

Subtraction War - Players turn up two cards and subtract the smaller number form the larger.  This time, the greatest difference wins the skirmish.

Product War - Turn up two cards and multiply.

Advanced Product War - Turn up three (or four) cards and multiply.

Fraction War - Players turn up two cards and make a fraction, using the smaller card as the numerator.  Greatest fraction wins.

Improper Fraction War - Turn up two cards and make a fraction, using the larger card as the numerator.  Greatest fraction wins.

Integer Addition War - Black cards are positive numbers; red cards are negative.  The greatest sum wins.  Remember that -2 is greater than -7.

Integer Product War - Black cards are positive numbers; red cards are negative.  The greatest product wins.  Remember that two negative numbers make a positive product.

Wild War - Players turn up three cards and may do whatever math manipulation they wish with the numbers.  The greatest answer wins the skirmish.

Advanced Wild War - Black cards are positive numbers; red cards are negative numbers.  Players turn up four cards and may do whatever math manipulation they wish with the numbers.  The greatest answer wins the skirmish.

Reverse Wild War - Players turn up three cards (or four, or five) and may do whatever math manipulation they wish with the numbers.  The answer with the lowest absolute value (closest to zero) wins the skirmish.

Multi-Digit War - Turn up two or three cards and create a 2-digit or 3-digit number.

Multi-Digit Subtraction War - Turn up three cards.  Make two of them into a 2-digit number, then subtract the third.  Example:  Suppose you turn up 3,4, and 5.  Should you arrange them as 54-3 or 45-3 or 35-4 or ... ?

Multi-Digit Product War - Turn up three cards.  Make two of them into a 2-digit number, then multiply by the third.  Example:  Suppose you turn up 3,4, and 5.  Should you arrange them as 5x43 or 4x53 or 3x54 or ... ?

NOTE:  These games work best if there is a full deck of playing cards per player (minus the face cards which don't come into play in these games).  Since a deck of cards is small, it fits easily into a purse or bag or glove compartment to have on hand for whenever you "need" them.

P.S.  The LDSHE Conference is my fa-fa-favorite.  If you get (or can make) the opportunity to go--DO!


And now a little math humor:

Banana Split Approach to Homeschooling

Yesterday was the second truly hot day of the year!  In honor of the return of warm weather, I share an article I wrote a very long time ago, originally published in LDSNHA's The Sentinel.  

I know some of you have been looking at the pages on the blog and getting disappointed at the lack thereon.  I have been adding things here and there, bit by bit on some of the pages.  Keep checking back!  

The Banana Split Approach to Homeschooling

Sasha N. Takis

It’s coming on summer.  At my house that means no more homemade bread or soup or, well, not much of anything cooked.  It’s just too hot.  In fact, during the summer months our dinner menu consists of a lot of (ahem... slight blush here) ice cream.  Hey!  It’s milk!  Over the years I’ve done a lot of experimenting and innovating to add more nutrition to our ice cream dinners.  You know, if you do it “right,” the classic banana split can become a prime example of getting the food pyramid into one meal!

Now I’m not really here to tell you how to make a banana split, or even to tell you what constitutes making one “right.”  I’m not here to tell you exactly how to homeschool, either.  Just like our tastes in desserts and ice cream brands, we all have different tastes, talents or needs that influence our choice in curriculum or methods.  But that’s the beauty of the banana split and homeschooling.  There are so many possibilities!  So what I am here for is to compare the classic, traditional banana split with the basic fundamentals of homeschooling.

 Now, what’s the first ingredient of a banana split?  Bananas, of course!  For me, (this is my analogy, after all) the bananas represent the values, character, morals, and religion in our education. Theodore Roosevelt said, “To educate a man in mind and not in morals is to educate a menace to society.”  Amen.  You see if you leave the banana out, it ceases to be a “banana split” and you’re just left with some sort of ice cream sundae.  It’s still good, but it’s not the real thing.  If you leave out a belief system, whatever it is, and devoid your education of values and morals, you’ve “devalued” the education in more ways than one.  The banana is the foundation.  It doesn’t matter if you slice it, dice it or leave it whole.  It just needs to be included.

After the banana, the main part of the dessert is ice cream.  Traditionally, a banana split comes with 3 scoops of ice cream:  one of vanilla, chocolate and strawberry, each.  These three scoops we’ll compare to the “Three R’s.”  These are obviously essential.  When a child is taught to read, write and calculate mathematically, whatever else may get left out can be found out later.  As ice cream is to the banana split, so is literacy and math to education.

The next ingredients (nuts and pineapple, strawberry, chocolate and caramel sauces) add color, flavor and crunch to the dessert, just as other subjects (history, science, art, music, physical education, etc.) add design, variety and texture to our intellect and being.  Oftentimes, ice cream is just an excuse to eat hot fudge.  Likewise, reading is a vehicle for satisfying our curiosity of how things work or any number of other things we want to try or find out about.  And while it’s sometimes nice to just have plain ice cream, most of the time it’s just the basic palette for something far tastier.

Have you ever asked someone, “Pretty please, with whipped cream and a cherry on top?”  That’s the ultimate way to ask a favor, the preeminent way to top a banana split, and (not surprisingly) the best way to homeschool.  What’s the whipped cream and cherry, then, you ask?  Well, that’s for you to figure out!  It’s the special touch that only a devoted and affectionate homeschooling mother can dish out to those she loves, to make homeschooling – and life – extra sweet.

Be Prepared

The motto for the Boy Scouts of America is "Be Prepared."  I asked my kids today what the point of that was.  Did the Scouting organization all of a sudden one day decide they needed some "filler," as in something official sounding for credibility?  Was Baden Powell just looking for any ol' random motto?  Were the motto, law, and oath created just as busy work for boys?  Or is there wisdom and purpose in the motto "Be Prepared"?

I've always appreciated the true story of Richard III, Henry Tudor, and the Battle of Bosworth as told by William J. Bennett in The Book of Virtues:  A Treasury of Great Moral Stories.  Last October Elder Eduardo Gavarret of the Seventy of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints used this same story in an Ensign article called "Prepared Against the Day of Battle."

Today's devotional was reading this article and discussing it, tying into our current history studies and past discussions.

Just like one choice can lead to a reduction of future choices, or open a world of new choices and possibilities, one area of unpreparedness can have dire consequences.

My oldest two boys are on the high school varsity baseball team, the 2014 Region Champs, and beginning the state playoffs today.  To bring this home, I used the example of someone on the team who perhaps needed new laces on his cleats, but wasn't prepared to replace them before the game, having them snap in the middle of running home and failing to score and get the job done to win the game.

I also shared how the consequences of the Battle of Bosworth had a far more lasting affect than just a lost battle or a lost kingdom.  In fact, the consequences affected the forming of the United States nearly 300 years later!  We are currently learning about Puritans, Quakers, witches, and the New England colonies in our U.S. History studies and as we discuss their religious and political ideas it's interesting to note that had Henry Tudor not defeated Richard III, his descendant, Henry VIII wouldn't have been in a position to declare a break with Rome and form the Church of England, from which the Puritan Separatists wouldn't have separated from and emigrated to America for.  And all for the want of a nail!

We also learned a new hymn, #17 in the LDS Hymnal, "Awake, Ye Saints of God, Awake!" in which the third verse is particularly applicable:

With constant faith and fervent prayer,

With deep humility of soul,

With steadfast mind and heart, prepare

To see th'eternal purpose roll.

Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has said, "Be obedient to the prophetic teachings Christ would have you follow.  Don't rationalize away future happiness by taking shortcuts instead of applying sound gospel principles.  Remember:  little thins lead to big things.  Seemingly insignificant indiscretions or neglect can lead to big problems.  More importantly, simple, consistent, good habits lead to a life full of bountiful blessings."

"Battle of Bosworth" by Greg Newbold

In 1485, Richard III was on the English throne. It was a time of instability, and Richard had to defend his crown more than once. But he was an experienced military veteran, a bold and shrewd warrior who had an army of between 8,000 and 10,000 men.

That same year, a pretender to the English throne, Henry Tudor, Earl of Richmond, challenged and confronted Richard in a place that gave the battle its name: Bosworth Field. Henry, unlike Richard, had little combat experience, and his forces numbered only 5,000. But at his side he had good advisers—noblemen who had taken part in similar battles, including some against Richard. The morning of the battle arrived, and everything suggested that Richard would be victorious.

A famous dramatic legend summarizes the events of August 22, 1485. That morning, King Richard and his men prepared to face Henry’s army. The winner of the battle would be the ruler of England. Shortly before the battle, Richard sent a groom to see if his favorite horse was ready.

“Shoe him quickly,” the groom ordered the blacksmith. “The king wishes to ride at the head of his troops.”

The blacksmith answered that he would have to wait. “I’ve shoed the king’s whole army the last few days,” he said, “and now I’ve got to go get more iron.”

The impatient groom said he couldn’t wait. “The king’s enemies are advancing right now, and we must meet them on the field,” he said. “Make do with what you have.”

As ordered, the blacksmith did the best he could, making four horseshoes from a bar of iron. After hammering out the shoes, he nailed three of them on the horse. When attempting to fasten the fourth shoe, however, he realized he did not have enough nails.

“I need one or two more nails, and it will take some time to hammer them out,” he told the groom.

The groom, however, could wait no longer. “I hear the trumpets now,” he declared. “Can’t you just use what you’ve got?”

The blacksmith replied that he would do his best but that he couldn’t guarantee that the fourth horseshoe would hold.

“Just nail it on,” the groom ordered. “And hurry, or King Richard will be angry with us both.”

The battle soon commenced. To rally his men, Richard rode up and down the field, fighting and urging them with the call, “Press forward! Press forward!”

As Richard looked across the field, however, he saw some of his men falling back. Fearing that his other soldiers might also begin retreating, he galloped toward the broken line to spur them on. But before Richard could reach them, his horse stumbled and fell, throwing the king to the ground. One of the horse’s shoes, just as the blacksmith feared, had flown off during the king’s desperate gallop.

Richard jumped from the ground as his horse rose and galloped off. As Henry’s army advanced, Richard waved his sword high in the air, shouting, “A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!”

But it was too late. By then, Richard’s men were fleeing in fear of Henry’s advancing army, and the battle was lost. Since that time people have uttered the proverb:

For want of a nail, a shoe was lost,

For want of a shoe, a horse was lost,

For want of a horse, a battle was lost,

For want of a battle, a kingdom was lost,

And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.¹

Fastening Our Principles

As I think of this story, I reflect on how something as simple as a poorly fastened horseshoe nail led to such a turn of events. We can compare the missing nail to the principles of the gospel. A lack of gospel principles and their associated values and practices can leave us helpless on the field of battle against temptation and evil.

What practices are missing in our lives and families? Are we neglecting personal or family prayer? Diligent study of the scriptures? Regular family home evening? Payment of a full tithe? Service to our brothers and sisters? Sabbath day observance? Temple worship? Love for our neighbors?

Each of us can take a look inside and find what we may lack—which principle or practice we need to fasten more firmly in our lives and in our families. Then, after we identify that principle or practice, we can act with diligence and determination to tighten the nail—to live that principle more fully and to better prepare ourselves and our families to stand up for what’s right.

In the Doctrine and Covenants, the Lord counsels, “Take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of my Spirit, which I will pour out upon you, and my word which I reveal unto you, and … be faithful until I come” (27:18).

To His faithful servants, the Savior has promised, “Their arm shall be my arm, and I will be their shield and their buckler; and I will gird up their loins, and they shall fight manfully for me; … and by the fire of mine indignation will I preserve them” (D&C 35:14).

May we remember that even if “the horse is prepared against the day of battle,” as Proverbs says, “safety is of the Lord” (21:31). May we follow Moroni’s invitation to “come unto Christ, and be perfected in him” (Moroni 10:32). And may we, by placing our trust in the Savior, the Lord of Hosts, be prepared and not stumble on the field of battle against evil.

Choices

Today's devotional lesson and discussion was on choices.  After singing "Choose the Right" I showed this video of Matt Bush's story and read the accompanying article.  This mattered to my kids as they are all dedicated baseball players and faithful fans of the game.  For us, to see someone who "had it all" in his grasp, a dream come true that we know too well takes a blessed triad of talent, work, and opportunity, to then lose it because of dumb decisions was powerful. Our discussion wasn't just on choices, but on how even just one poor choice can limit future choices or eliminate them altogether.  We talked about alcohol, drugs, and tobacco, of course, but also video games and pornography.  We talked about recovery, repentance, and change, and how even the strongest wills still need the healing help of Christ and the power of His grace to overcome.  And I told them that people struggling with an addiction usually need someone else in their lives also to be accountable to or to help remind them and watch out for them and that I was here for more than cooking and laundry and could and would be that for them if they needed it.

Today's discussion focused mostly on how a bad choice can dictate a path and avoiding that kind of consequence.  Tomorrow's discussion will focus on the effects of a good choice.

There are lots of topics parents need to talk to their children about and it's not always easy.  The world needs more parents who tackle the job sincerely, and I tip my hat to parents who are trying.  I share what I did here as an example, to show that if you can find a way to reach your children through the things that they love, that really speak to them, I believe it helps the lesson resonate.  Parents can't just dictate, they've got to relate.

George Washington and the Scout Law

I love it when things connect!  We are currently studying United States History and, more specifically right now, Colonial Times.  I found a great way to connect the past with the present in George Washington's personal code of conduct.

Even though Washington died long before there was such a thing as Scouting, he personified the Scout Law in a set of rules he created for himself when he was 15 years old:

A Scout is trustworthy.

GW:  "Undertake not what you cannot perform, but be careful to keep your promise."

A Scout is loyal.

GW:  "Be not hasty to believe flying reports to the disparagement of any.  Speak not evil of the absent, for it is unjust."

A Scout is helpful.

GW:  "Wherein you reprove another be unblamable yourself, for example is more prevalent than precepts.  In visiting the sick do not play the physician, if you be not knowing therein."

A Scout is friendly.

GW:  "Show not yourself glad at the misfortune of another, though he were your enemy.  Let your conversation be without malice or envy."

A Scout is courteous.

GW:  "Be not forward, but friendly and courteous, the first to salute, hear, and answer.  Speak not when others speak, sit not when others stand, speak not when you should hold your peace, walk not when others stop, turn not your back to others, especially in speaking; lean not on anyone."

A Scout is kind.

GW:  "When a man does all he can, though it succeeds not well, blame not him that did it."

A Scout is obedient.

GW:  "Honor and obey your natural parents although they be poor.  Strive not with your superiors in argument, but always submit your judgment to others with modesty."

A Scout is cheerful.

GW:  "Speak not of doleful things in times of mirth; nor at the table; put on a cheerful countenance, for good humor makes one dish of meat a feast."

A Scout is thrifty.

GW:  "Let your discourse with men of business be short and comprehensive.  In your apparel be modest, and endeavor to accommodate nature rather than to procure admiration."

A Scout is brave.

GW:  "Fight to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire called conscience."

A Scout is clean.

GW:  "Use no reproachful language against anyone, neither curse nor revile.  Let your recreations be manful, not sinful."

A Scout is reverent.

GW:  "When you speak of God, or His attributes, let it be seriously in reverence."


I loved finding this little gem of a lesson!  It shows the timelessness of the values espoused by Scouting.  It shows that someone who had a great mission to fulfill, who became one of history's most important and famous figures, started out as a goal-oriented youth.

I also love the language he used; the words and phrases aren't common to today and so this lesson expanded vocabulary and made us think about why Washington would say things the way he said them and what he truly meant.  The language also lifted us from modern, often too casual language to a more refined way of expression. It made for great discussion on the connections between the "Scout word" and the "Washington rule."  Why would he make this or that rule for himself?  And for whomever matched these Washington maxims to points of the Scout Law, why, of all things, would he match "brave" with "Fight to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire called conscience"?  It's simply terrific.