Becoming

Tonight was Seminary Graduation for my oldest child.  <Sigh.>  I have so many thoughts running through my head (many incomplete because I am both overwhelmed at the amount of stimuli and also emotionally tentative in wanting to see them through) that I don't know if anything I write here will be much more than rambling.  I remember this time of my life still very vividly and cannot believe it was as many years ago as it was and, except for the fact that it's very true and real, I cannot believe my firstborn is old enough to be "here."

My son spoke tonight, one of just two graduates of the 72 in our stake to be asked to do so, as a representative of our stake to Seminary Council.  He did a terrific job and it was one of those snippets in time when I was reassured that he's more mature than I sometimes think (or fear) and that no matter how much I may want to turn back the clock, he's ready and the time is right.  And, I like who he's become.

As we receive high school graduation announcements from friends and continue to experience many "lasts," I am forced to mull the educational choices we've made and to revisit what I believe.  I've never been one to be bothered by walking upstream or to be afraid of being different; in fact I kind of thrive on it.  At this point in time, however, I can't help but ponder just how different our choices have been.  When I see so many people I love and respect doing all the same things and going through all the same motions, I just... wonder.

I hate the system.  I hate the box.*  I hate the philosophies of men and the subsequent pervasive structures and organizations that turn into expectations and regulations.  I stiffen at hoops to jump through and forms to fill out. I'm finding that I value less and less documented achievement in the form of diplomas and degrees.  Yet I live in a world that emphasizes and embraces all of these things, and so many of my fellow mortal sojourners don't even hesitate to get in line. Again... I wonder.

But tonight, at Seminary Graduation, I heard some statements that really pinpoint the heart of what I believe and where I'm coming from, why I do what I do and choose what I choose.

First, my son shared this quote from Elder Neal A. Maxwell:

"As we look about us we perceive that unfortunately some Church members are in the 'broad' way; most are scattered all along the straight and narrow path.  The enlightened are moving forward steadily toward becoming men and women of Christ.  Others are moving, but only irregularly.  Some are dawdling.  Still others are milling round the exits and entrances.  A few have turned back or been turned aside."

He then talked about how now that he and his classmates will no longer have Seminary teachers and parents to daily nudge them toward prayer and scripture study and church attendance, it is up to each of them to choose these things for themselves.  They can leave these things behind them, or they can choose to keep them as part of their lives and to consciously endeavor to become men and women of Christ.

Then one of the Seminary teachers, as he presented the graduates, shared the following thoughts.

"We live in a world with an overabundance of information.  Wisdom gets lost in knowledge and knowledge gets lost in information.  We need to turn that around.  Information should turn into knowledge and knowledge should turn into wisdom."

 "The world wants you to know something; the Gospel of Jesus Christ wants you to become something."

It reminded me of 2 Nephi 9:28-29:

"O that cunning plan of the evil one!  O the vainness, and the frailties, and the foolishness of men!  When they are learned they think they are wise, and they hearken not unto the counsel of God, for they set it aside, supposing they know of themselves, wherefore, their wisdom is foolishness and it profiteth them not.  And they shall perish.  

 But to be learned is good if they hearken unto the counsels of God." 

Twenty some years ago when I was where my son is now, I was frustrated with what I did and did not know and at how little, I realized, my high school diploma meant.  Even as an A student, I felt that all it said was that I finished something someone said I had to do.  I suppose that it isn't fair to say it meant nothing, nor would it be correct to say that I hadn't been "becoming" in any way through my public schooling as all experiences join to mold us into whatever we are.  Certainly my graduation epiphany was the catalyst for me to want something different and to make deliberate choices that shaped who I've become so far and what my children are becoming.  I realized then what I believe now:   Not all information is of the same importance.  Likewise, not all knowledge has the same value.  It's not the certificates of achievement that matter--it's who you become.

*"The box" is the standardized, compartmentalized, one-size-fits-all approach to compulsory education.