Roots and Wings

I'm not claiming to be wise, but I do seek after wisdom. I believe in the "what" of the wisdom of the Chinese Proverb above, and I believe with all my heart that The Family: A Proclamation to the World gives us the "how" and "why." I've just entered into a new phase of motherhood and I'm trying with all my heart to do it right. I am a mother-in-law! 

There were some faulty, emotional moments leading up to this new phase when I feared that in order for my son to fly, as I always hoped he would, he'd have to cut his roots, and I was troubled, wondering what was the point of all I'd done and all we'd shared. But fear is the opposite of faith and it clouds judgement. Roots are a foundation; they do not hold one back but give anchor, breathe life, and allow one to rise and grow. My son and new daughter will fly higher because of their roots. They will network those roots to grow their own family, and give wings to the new sweet spirits that will join them in time. 

I did not know what to expect from my son's wedding day. I wasn't sure what I would feel. I did not know I would experience such complete joy. There is no other word. There was no division of love, just a lot of multiplication. Love and joy. Roots and wings. It's all part of The Plan.

Already in Love with 2017

I am already in love with 2017. Not because, three hours into the new year, anything particularly marvelous has happened to influence my opinion or outlook already (though I did toast my family and some good friends with a very tasty apple-pomegranate sparkling cider) or because I'm one of those who figures 2016 was so bad that anything else has gotta be better. It's true that my year last year did have some major pits, potholes, and pathetic and perplexing problems; I'm certain I cried more in the past year than I've cried my entire life. But it's also true that there were moments of great clarity, times when I was supported and sustained by friends both in Heaven and on Earth, and the blessings were too many to count. No, I am in love with 2017 because I hope and have faith.

Many people hope when a new year rolls around, if they haven't become too hard and cynical anyway. It's what people hope that varies. I honestly don't know how anyone can hope without faith, and I do mean faith in a Father in Heaven and His Son, Jesus Christ. Sure, people can have faith in loved ones or financial institutions or themselves, or whatever else, but all of those things are subject to the faults and frailties of the mortal condition. I have hope and faith because time and again my Heavenly Father has brought me to and through things--strengthened and taught and directed me--and time and again I have marveled at how He never gives up on me, even when I feel I might as well give up on myself. I know He hears and answers my prayers--every one, spoken and unspoken--down to the tiniest of details. And at the beginning of this new year I have the most hope ever in the Atonement of Jesus Christ. The year 2016 really was the Year of the Atonement for me, as I saw firsthand the fruits of it in people's lives and saw the unmistakable and undeniable change in these people. In different places and through various ways I felt an incredible witness of the truth and power of the Atonement. I am not perfect. Uh, not even close. But I can look back over the last year and see improvement and it makes me giddy with anticipation at how I can change and become this next year with God's grace.  I am certain there are going to be some really bad days in 2017. Lots of tears. Pain. Grief. Regret. I won't accomplish half of what I want, I won't change quite as much as I'd like, I'll probably take one step back for every two steps forward. But I stand at the doorway of the new year, glad to be alive and able to think, choose, and change and looking forward with hope and faith.

Tree of Life

As part of our Year of Life, we are spending time studying the Tree of Life and Lehi's Dream more in depth.

We started out talking about how a Tree of Life is a part of nearly every culture/religion. We looked at some ancient depictions...

Mesopotamian Tree of Life

Egyptian Tree of Life

Babylonian Tree of Life

Mayan Tree of Life

Celtic Tree of Life

"The Tree of Life in Ancient Cultures" was one of the sources of information I shared with the kids as we looked over the images.

We looked for references to the Tree of Life outside of Lehi's Dream; it is of course mentioned in Genesis and Revelation as well as throughout the Book of Mormon and Pearl of Great Price.

We began reading John Bytheway's Lifestyles of the Great & Spacious. (Really good read!)

After studying the description of the Tree of Life, we did an art project with pastels on black construction paper.

We watched videos like this, and did The Wonderful Fruit activity together with a discussion.

I've really been enjoying our studies of the Tree of Life so far. I think we sometimes get less familiar with things we think we know or are already familiar with over time because we don't realize there is always something new to learn or a new way to apply a lesson and we stop spending time and thought on it. I'm looking forward to continuing this path.

From "Someday" to "Seize the Day" - The Power of Splashing in Your Bucket List

We're almost halfway through this year. As usual, I'm a few months behind mentally, wondering how in the heck it is summer already when I swear we just had New Years. But this year, aside from the fact that I'm sad my kids are that much older and another one is "done" and about to move on, I'm not feeling like the past six months have just passed me by, leaving me stunned and eating dust. This year, more than any other year, I have seized the day(s) and lived on purpose. I have done some things on my bucket list and it has been a powerful shift in how I feel about my life.

Before I go any further, I just want to clarify what a bucket list is, in case there is someone reading who doesn't know. A bucket list is a person's list of wishes and dreams of things she wants to see or do or be or become before she "kicks the bucket," or in other words, dies.  That's the general idea. Some people make "Summer Bucket Lists" or lists for any season, of things they want to do before that season is over. But when most people talk bucket lists, they're talking about things they want to do before their lives are over.

You might be thinking, "Oh, you're just talking about goals." Not necessarily. I mean, I have a sincere goal to reclaim certain rooms of my house from clutter, but if I died and that wasn't done yet, I wouldn't feel badly about not having done it. But I will feel regret if I never see New York in person or hike in the Alps or take pictures in pure awe in Iceland. Neither is a bucket list a to do list. While bucket list items may be things you need to do, they're also things you want to do. I need my garage cleaned out, and I even want the finished product, but in no way do I actually want to clean the garage; cleaning the garage is a to do list item, not a bucket list item. The other thing about bucket lists is that many of the things people would put on their bucket list are things that can't just be easily done whenever--so they often get left as wishes and dreams because of the resources or effort required to make them happen. To be sure, goal setting is required to do things on your bucket list--but so is the attitude adjustment of going from "someday" to seizing the day.

Now, I haven't been able to go to any distant destinations on my bucket list this year, but I have taken the opportunity to enjoy "local" locales every chance I got. (By local I mean within a few hours' drive. I normally consider places within a 200-mile radius candidates for day trips.) These have included places I've heard about and wanted to go to for years and places I've driven by numerous times and wished I had time to stop and investigate. For the most part all it's taken is slowing down long enough to plan ahead, recognizing that I'm heading in the direction of ____, so why not leave early so I can stop there, too. It's also taken a "let it go" attitude on some days when I decided to make time by seizing a few opportunities in the now, knowing laundry and weeding and those things can wait one more day. 

From exploring Ice Castles to holding still on an island perch and purposely watching the sun set over the Great Salt Lake, I've found some rewarding ways to take charge of my time and do some things I've long wanted to do. It's not every day, of course, but by carving out that time on purpose and continuing to look for and seize opportunities, the busy-ness of day-to-day life with a family and especially the sometimes hopeless feel of my crowded and over-scheduled calendar of time that flies by aren't getting me down like before. It's also helping me be more conscious of who I spend my time with and helping me become the kind of person I want to be by making time for other people. And even little things, like watching Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (which I've always meant to do but have somehow never done until this week) and reading Uncle Tom's Cabin (another "someday" item) have helped me feel like I am acting rather than being acted upon.

Splashing in my bucket list has made me more aware of time and choices and helped me to not only enjoy myself and my time, but manage my time and self better also. So, go ahead and make a splash yourself!

Goodly Parents Teach

I wrote the following for the 2015 round of the annual Family Proclamation Celebration over at We Talk of Christ, We Rejoice in Christ. Now that it's been several months, I'm sharing it here as well.

Copying the Declaration of Independence with quill pens.

Recently I purchased a Book of Mormon to study with the sole purpose of searching for specific guidance relating to parenting and education. I have been color coding verses according to subject and theme. I think it is significant that the most true book on Earth begins with telling us of good parents; Nephi's father taught him what he knew because he was a good parent, the converse being true that because Lehi taught his son, he was a good parent:

"I, Nephi, having been born of goodly parents, therefore I was taught somewhat in all the learning of my father..." (1 Nephi 1:1)

As I studied the family of Lehi anew, and reread of their two return journeys to Jerusalem after fleeing to the wilderness, I paused to consider the reasons for these return trips. The acquisition of the Brass Plates served to preserve a language and provide a record of doctrine and commandments, both necessary for the support, teaching, sustaining and building of this family and their future generations, and also to provide the genealogy of Lehi's family. The convincing of Ishmael and his family to join Lehi's family was for the forming of the most important companionships in this life, those of marrying and making families. These two necessary trips were all about the family! From the dust of 600 BC comes the Book of Mormon version of the Proclamation on the Family.

Juxtaposing this part of the Book of Mormon with the Proclamation, I'd like to suggest what it is that is imperative for parents to teach their children.

Teach them where they come from.

• Teach your children that they are eternal beings. Teach them the Plan of Salvation and that they are children of a loving Father in Heaven.
• Teach your children their family history. More than names and dates, search and study the true life stories that are their heritage. Come to know your ancestors as real people and internalize their trials, triumphs, and testimonies.
• Keep in touch with living relatives. Be diligent in strengthening family relationships. Those who make up the members of your family are not a matter of chance.
• Teach your children the history of your nation and to be patriots. Help them recognize the Hand of God in the affairs of history.

Teach them where they are going.

• Teach them that this life is the time to prepare to meet God. Continually walk with them the path that leads back to Him.
• Demonstrate a love of learning and an appreciation for education and improvement.
• Teach your children to work.
• Teach your children to make and keep covenants both in word and by example. Take your family to the temple. Prepare them for the day when they will marry and begin families of their own. 
• Discuss family life and help your children acquire skills for homemaking and providing, as well as those for nurturing family relationships.

Teach them what you know. 

• Follow the example of Lehi and share your knowledge, your passions, your experiences, and your testimony with your children. Be interested in and an active part of your children's educations.
• Set an example of standing up for what is right. Do not underestimate yourself or your influence. Employ the skills and knowledge you've acquired to bless your children  and guard against any enemy.

Teach them language.

• Don't leave to others the responsibility you have to ensure your children are learning and literate. Read to them, read with them, have them read to you. 
• Create a home environment where record keeping is the norm. Journals, scrapbooks, letters, memoirs, even poetry and creative writing should abound.
• Teach good manners in speech and how to effectively communicate with people, being good listeners as well as strong but tempered speakers.
• Help them learn, recognize, and understand the language of the Spirit.
• Teach them to pray.

Moses counseled, "And thou shalt teach (these words) diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up" (see Deuteronomy 6:7). This means good parents are teaching all the time. 

Children are born into families. They aren't born to governments, to schools, to clubs, or even to churches. The Plan of Happiness--the blueprint for finding and achieving real, lasting happiness--is centered on the family and not any other organization or group. Therefore, the rearing and education of children is both the responsibility and privilege of parents to whom children are born. They may employ the help of others for support, but never should they give up what is both their right and their charge in the teaching of their children.